The Marriage Mirror

Business Odyssey 083 Last week I promised a post or two more on marriage, but paused to address some of the the events of last week (9/11, Joe Wilson's outburst during President Obama's speech, etc.). So, here we go:

Gary Thomas once wrote of an epiphany he had as a young
husband after getting extremely frustrated that his wife continually failed to
refill the ice-trays. He talks about realizing that he too can fill up trays.
He then writes

“That's the day I
discovered the truth about marriage: Marriage holds up a mirror to my sin. It
forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws, selfishness,
and anti-Christian attitudes—even with something as trivial as ice cube trays.

Being so close to
someone—which marriage necessitates—may be the greatest spiritual challenge in
the world. There's no "resting," because I'm under virtual 24-hour
surveillance. Not that Lisa makes it seem like that—it's just that I'm aware of
it. Every movie I rent is rented with the understanding that I'll watch it with
Lisa next to me. Every hour I take off for recreation is an hour that Lisa will
know about. My appetites, lusts, and desires are in Lisa's full view.”

I agree. It's not so much about having someone watching over you like a prison guard. Not at all. It's about having a full-time partner on the discipleship journey. And, Emily offers me the greatest insight into who I really am from outside myself. In my own opinion, I'm a fantastic, virtually flawless guy 🙂 She gets to see me behind the scenes, and knows me better than anyone other than the Lord. Yet, I know she loves me and means me no harm. She provides the 'round the clock observation of my emotional and spiritual well-being that gives her unique insight into how I'm doing day-to-day. Our relationship provides fertile ground for spiritual growth within the context of marriage. She can speak and do encouragement and challenge with utmost credibility.

It's good to listen to those who know you best and you are convinced want you become everything you can be. Married or not, it's good for me to have some guy friends in this realm too. But, none of them will have the access (and thus, insight) into my emotional and spiritual well-being that she does.

Yet one more reason to thank God for Emily 🙂 and for the gift of marriage.

Dr. Tim Spivey is Lead Planter of New Vintage Church in San Diego, California. He is the author of numerous articles and one book, "Jesus: The Powerful Servant." A sought after speaker for events, Tim also serves as Adjunct Professor of Religion at Pepperdine University. Tim serves as a church consultant, and his writings are featured on ChurchLeaders.com, Church Executive magazine, Faith Village, Sermon Central, and Giving Rocket.

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One thought on “The Marriage Mirror

  1. Marriage is such a beautiful thing. Marriage is beautiful, sacred, and must be protected at any and all cost. Tim, God bless you and Emily, and your life together. God bless both of you, your family, and the work y’all are striving to do in San Diego. God bless. Grace and Peace.