Speaking of Sex

Story_microphone_large Yesterday, I preached the first of two sermons on biblical sexuality. In the course of that message, I offered a brief survey of the church's teaching on sex throughout the centuries—from Augustine and Jerome (who said, ""Anyone who is too passionate a lover with his own wife is himself an adulterer.") to the church's sometimes silly forbiddances of sex on all sorts of days. The extent of these forbiddances went to the point that John Boswell estimates that at one point in church history only 44 days of the year were approved days for having sex.

Luther (thank God) helped bring things back around. Post-Luther, it seems the church began to say less about the subject of sex from the pulpit and in writing, other than to say, "Don't do it until you're married, and homosexuality is wrong." This approach however, surrendered the pulpit to culture on sex except on those two topics…and even then…the church lacked theological foundation and creativity in their presentation of it. The reasons the Church gave for their positions were too often rooted in apologetics rather than theology (i.e, "if you have sex before marriage you could get pregnant or get AIDS") and thus the condom rebutted our objections.

Eventually, the subject became somewhat taboo, and perhaps we becamed "grossed out" or battle-weary on the subject. Thus, there was a brief Dark Age on the subject until recently. During that brief Dark Age the Church still did its best to keep young people from getting overly involved with one another sexually before marriage and generally stood firmly on the subject of homosexuality.


We never really revisited the subject like we should have. Simultaneously a new series of challenges ranging from a rise in adultery and pornography to homosexuality's increasing acceptance by culture rose to meet us.

Lauren Winner and others have picked the subject up in more detail recently, and we should all be thankful. Here's just a few reasons why:

  1. In the process of spiritual formation, "Thou shalt not," only goes so far. At some point, the "Thou shalt," must be known.
  2. Not only young people need biblical instruction on the theology, meaning, and yes, even practice of sex. All people need it. Many people struggle in marriage because both sex and desire itself are portrayed to them in their youth as taboo. Thus, when they get married, some Christians really struggle to have vibrant sex lives in marriage.
  3. God created sex and it's good and pleasing in His sight when it flowers within the context of marriage.
  4. The church faces a huge challenge from culture on nearly all aspects of sexuality. We need to study, pray, and speak clearly on the subject as perhaps never before.

Here's there's still a problem. Sexuality is still viewed by the Church as "over the line," to discuss from the pulpit. It's perhaps because we feel it fails the propriety test. I also believe in part it's because so many Christians struggle mightily with sexual sin and private disbelief in the Church's traditional teachings on sexuality. Thus, it's easier to shift sexuality to the accountability groups and leave plenty of room for Christians to disagree on even quite important matters of doctrine than to do the difficult work of plowing such difficult ground.

Call me old-fashioned or foolish, but I just believe sexuality is much more important than other things we can leave space for disagreement on.

One man. One woman. In marriage. That is the biblical witness and preachers need to preach it with the vigor and theological underpinnings provided by Scripture.

The issues of our time are in no way simple. The church will have to grapple with how to respond to things from the "casualness" of sex to homosexual/bisexual/transgender issues. But, make no mistake…we need to respond. And we need to do it yesterday.

In love. In truth. With clarity.

Dr. Tim Spivey is Lead Planter of New Vintage Church in San Diego, California. He is the author of numerous articles and one book, "Jesus: The Powerful Servant." A sought after speaker for events, Tim also serves as Adjunct Professor of Religion at Pepperdine University. Tim serves as a church consultant, and his writings are featured on ChurchLeaders.com, Church Executive magazine, Faith Village, Sermon Central, and Giving Rocket.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Share Your Thoughts

4 thoughts on “Speaking of Sex

  1. I agree with your post Tim and am so glad you wrote it. I would love for you to write more on this subject for those of us who aren’t privy to your sermons. 🙂 (Or maybe don’t have time to listen to the media files) 🙂
    Can’t wait to visit with you soon!

  2. Love your post, Tim. You are absolutely right. One of the things that seems so apparent to me in our culture is that sex is such a powerful force in our lives — the desire for it, or the lack of it — and this power is a driving force in all of our lives. The church’s failure to talk about it or to discuss it in an honest way is leading Christians to make tragic mistakes in the management and control of their passion.
    Last week, I was in a session with Pat Keiffert from the “missional church” studies, and he said that the most stunning fact that he has found about Churches of Christ is the high level of sexual and domestic abuse in our churches. My guess is that this is the case because sexuality is so repressed and ignored, and something so powerful as sex will find expression in dysfunctional ways when it is made off-bounds or dirty.
    As you probably note on my blog, I have tried in my ministry job and in my writing to engage the church more openly on this topic. I find it interesting on my blog and on Facebook that when I post an entry on sex, it is the most read and the least commented on of all my entries. That tells me that people are incredibly interested, but hesitant to say anything. We fear this topic like no other.
    This often results in teaching and preaching that sets forth ideals, supposedly Scriptural, that are completely out of touch with how people are actually living their lives.
    Thanks for taking on the topic, and I look forward to hearing more from you.

  3. Great sermon yesterday! Thank you for teaching on this subject because you’re right, it does not get heard about from the pulpit very often and it should!!! So very important for those of us who are married, and wonderful for the younger crowd who deal with these pressures within school realms and for those who are not married.
    I really appreciated what you said yesterday regarding how when we are/were young, that is the best time to train our minds and bodies to have self control so when we are married we can take that control into our marriage to keep it pure and holy. Thank you! I don’t remember being talked to about that when I was young but I want my girls to know how important that is.
    Thanks Brother!