The Men Problem

Business_odyssey_012Men are not a problem. I believe firmly that God does some of his most amazing work through men. I agree with every comment that has been made to one degree or another. Here are some additional thoughts: (Please pay attention to words like "some" and "many" — these are generalizations, not blanket statements)…and one more thing… I am generalizing men as well…I understand that they come in all varieties.

-Many churches are low challenge environments. Men tend to like challenge.

-In some churches, there’s a lot of hugging, hand-holding, and emoting. Not all men like that.

-The decor of some churches is feminine. Nuff said.

-The degendering of broader society…not cool for some guys.

-Some church schedules are oriented more toward children and women than men. Ever hear someone announce the new all-church event starting at 6:30am Monday downtown?

-The growing spiritual struggles of men (i.e., pornography, etc.), causes men to isolate themselves…as all sin can do to all believers. As C.S. Lewis says in the Screwtape Letters, "Sin demands to have a man by himself."

-Divorce sometimes causes men to leave churches while their wife and children stay…and some men never go back. Here divorce is the issue, not who stays.

-Some churches don’t do a lot of "butch" activities. When is the church’s next motorcycle ride, or the next sky-diving experience. Men tend to like a little adventure. Not typically the church’s forte.

-The church’s teaching on what it means to be a Christian is either errant, chauvinist, feminist, or absent.

Here’s the point of the last couple days of blog posting: The church needs both women and men to be all that God has created them to be if it is to fulfill it’s mission. God can do what He wants without any of us. But, He has chosen to use us all. The answer to the men issue, to me, isn’t to overreact and change everything about how the church does things. Rather, it is to ask honest questions about the church’s practice how the church might spiritually form men. To do so, the church must listen as much as it speaks. In some cases, the church will need to repent and change. In other cases, the church will need to urge men to be men…not boys. How and when is an act of serious spiritual discernment…and it matters…a lot. When Christian men live out the cross, it’s awesome to see.

Dr. Tim Spivey is Lead Planter of New Vintage Church in San Diego, California. He is the author of numerous articles and one book, "Jesus: The Powerful Servant." A sought after speaker for events, Tim also serves as Adjunct Professor of Religion at Pepperdine University. Tim serves as a church consultant, and his writings are featured on ChurchLeaders.com, Church Executive magazine, Faith Village, Sermon Central, and Giving Rocket.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.