I love Edwin Friedman. If you haven’t read Generation to Generation, or A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix…stop reading this blog and go to Amazon and buy them this instant. Here’s some classic Friedman:

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption
that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication
does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on
the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear
you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words
are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used
to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.

— Edwin H. Friedman